Being a mother can be difficult especially when you are working. Those feelings of mommy guilt would continue to haunt you when you felt like not doing enough for your newborn.
The feeling is worse when the item that needs to be done can be accomplished easily. You will feel inadequate and guilty at the same time.
Even if this is not a positive feat, I would like to stress out that those feelings are normal especially when you are new to being a parent.
Every single parent on this earth struggles when they are trying to raise a kid. You need to focus less on your mommy guilt and more on your baby. They deserve full attention from you.
Feeling guilty all the time is not only bad for your baby, it can predispose you to postpartum depression too.
In this article, we’re going to discuss how to be actionable with your mommy guilt. Turn it into something productive.
You need to pay attention to yourself first, not mommy guilt
If you have ever attended any emergency seminar, you would find that all of them would emphasize on the importance of securing your own safety first before your child.
Afterall, you can only help others after helping yourself first.
The best way of locking mommy guilt and keeping it in check is to ensure that you are properly taken care of.
In an emergency context, you need to secure your oxygen mask first before assisting your kids.
Go see a movie, invite a few of your friends for a girl night and get a pedicure. I think your husband wouldn’t mind taking care of your child while you were out, trying to regain your strength.
Loving yourself can be the key to your life happiness and protective against mommy guilt.
Don’t push people away, share your responsibility
Yes, you are a mom now but that doesn’t mean you need to push your partner away.
If you think everything is too much for you, remember this fact. You are committed to this as much as he is.
Sometimes, it’s important to carve out some “me time” for your psychological well being.
Your partner can help you with your chores and you can let yourself rest for a little while.
Mommy guilt can be a sign of emotional stress. It’s good to be away from that once in a while.
Sip a cup of coffee and try to enjoy reading your magazine. Or whatever it is you love to do.
Surround yourself with positive people, mommy guilt would disappear
There is such a thing as a crappy friend. Those who let you to be negative with the outlook of your own life.
These kinds of people only know how to spit out negativity while trying to reap positivity out of you.
Surround yourself with positive people. You can enjoy your own happiness and they would be there to support you when you are at your worst.
Being positive can do wonders pushing mommy guilt away.
Identify rational thoughts
Try to think, what factors influence you to develop mommy guilt? Being away from your baby to work is a normal thing for a working mom.
What’s not normal though is thinking this would affect your baby’s development.
This kind of mommy guilt is not only unnecessary, but also can influence your work performance.
You need to develop a sense of trust with your caregiver or your husband if he is a stay-at-home dad.
One of the truths that people seem to have forgotten is that the toll of going back to work affects more on the mother than on her baby.
Don’t brag your baby, it would create a brand new mommy guilt on others
One of the things that mothers love to do is to brag about their children. You will not easily be caught up in it, you can create a sense of inadequacy.
This is one of the most prevalent things which is often overlooked.
You need to know how to politely try to change the subject. It is neither good for you nor for your child if you are too consumed in the bragging game.
Remember, every single child is unique. It’s not relevant to submit yourselves to mommy guilt whenever you feel your child is inadequate.
Try to nurture your relationship with your partner
Spending your time with your love can be a wonderful thing. It can create a strong emotional connection which would let you fight off mommy guilt efficiently.
Plus, your children would learn to value their own relationship by putting yours as an example.
You can go out on a date, cuddle or have a nice fancy dinner at home. Let your child know how to love and how a good relationship looks like.
They would soon appreciate your effort.
Refer to a professional if you have mommy guilt
While people can chase mommy guilt just as easily like any other psychological struggles, some would need time to do so.
If you think this is too much and there is nothing your partner can do to calm you down, try to get professional help.
You can do so through counselling and submit yourself for psychological evaluation. It’s good for your mental health.
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